Background Information

You'd think when a perv like me peruses photos from something called the 2011 Greasy Pole Contest I'd focus in on where the action is—the greasy pole! But, nope, I'm fixated and focused on this out-of-focus slab of pixellated muscle sex in the background watching this annual Gloucester, MA event.

Holy blurry beefy fuzzy-focused hazy hella hotness!

SIRveillance

Here are a couple submissions from the Pacific Northwest:

He Handles His Pole Well: A marcher in the 2011 June Dairy Parade
in Tillamook, Oregon. (Click to enlarge.)

Looks Good Coming and Going: A local boy leaving the parade.

Thanks, hn! Have some SIRveillance of your own to share? Send it in to me here.

Bearstown

A sweaty daddy bear turns up the heat in Chicago's Boystown neighborhood courtesy Tap That Guy:

Woof!

SIRveillance

Know the 'Score'

So, PAULY D of "Jersey Shore" thinks the current cast is "irreplaceable." I call bullsh*t! Because the cast of XXX parody "Jersey Score 2" would work in a pinch! While I've never seen more than snippets of the genuine article, I swear the acting in the the porn spoof has to be on par or better. Don't believe me? See for yourself with the official nsfw trailer.

You didn't even know there was a first installment? Here's the edited-for-Youtube trailer of the original "Jersey Score."

Manvertising

Lather up with this award-winning ad and watch an otter wash his arsehole and pee in the shower. Mmm … steamy!

SIRveillance

Lo-Def Desire

Without getting into host DAVE SALMONI (above), who I definitely want to take me on a sex safari, here is some of the hotness from the premiere episode of new reality-competition show "Expedition Impossible":

SIRveillance

Lo-Def Desire

There's no pretending that MICHAEL T. WEISS is hairy and handsome. Thanks to Hulu, I've been able to experience "The Pretender"—and my crush on Mr. Weiss—all over again!

The Rock flexes, opens wide, goes down!

Unfortunately, that description isn't from DWAYNE JOHNSON's celebrity sex tape, but of a photo of The Rock Riding Splash Mountain:

I'm the boy who cried "wolf!"

At least I wanna be! And I wanna cry "wolves." Plural! More specifically, I wouldn't mind being forced to shed some tears of joy by MICHAEL TREVINO, who plays a teen wolf on "The Vampire Diaries" and whose mile-high CLUB I have never wanted to see … okay, touch … okay, taste! … more since seeing him here, shirtless 30,000 feet in the air, on a flight from New York to Los Angeles. And then there's—once again!—JOE MANGANIELLO, from one of three "American Gothic"-themed Entertainment Weekly covers featuring the supernatural "True Blood" beefcake from which that bitch Sookie Stackhouse gets to choose!

Speaking of choosing, I choose to believe he's in overalls and nothing else! Howl!

Daddy of the Day

MARIO SINGER, the hiruste, hubba hubba!-inducing, hot DILF husband of one of "The Real Housewives of New York," Goes Hairy Shirtless:

SIRveillance

Lo-Def Desire

Bone structure-overdosing ADAM GREGORY from today's "The Bold and the Beautiful" should satisfy you lovers of smooth, young hunks.

SIRveillance

The Group Dynamic

See what big, um, helps they are to each other in the uncensored version of this pic.

I, for one, can't wait to see how men—like these bearded, wife-free boys—peen lean on each other post divorce.

SIRveillance

Manvertising

Via.

Daddy of the Day

The Command Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps MICHAEL P. BARRETT because he's a hot, handsome TOP MARINE daddy and because he Urges Excellence, Compassion with his Straight Talk on ‘Don’t Ask’ Repeal:

“Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution is pretty simple,” he told a group of Marines at a base in South Korea. “It says, ‘Raise an army.’ It says absolutely nothing about race, color, creed, sexual orientation."