They're gonna chum!

While I only sorta want to slather the one on the left in marinara and olive oil and go to town, I thought I'd point you to this smooth guido meat in the first cast photo from Syfy's upcoming Jersey Shore Shark Attack:

Syfy's 'Jersey Shore Shark Attack' cast revealed! 'Sopranos,' 'Goodfellas' vets on board -- EXCLUSIVE [Entertainment Weekly]